


so hold me mom

by pinchecacto



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25091269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinchecacto/pseuds/pinchecacto
Summary: And for Glimmer, it ends like this:Trapped on a ship with her worst enemy.Only-It doesn’t.-For Catra, it ends like this:Trapped on a ship, alone.Only-It doesn’t.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 224





	so hold me mom

When the words slipped from Adora’s mouth, Glimmer didn’t feel much of anything.

How could she have?

Most people would have thought her bones would turn ice cold. That her breathing would catch. That she’d devolve into some sort of circular path of denial, that her thoughts would swirl and make up explanation after explanation denying such a claim.

But Glimmer felt utterly…  _ normal.  _

And when she felt Bow’s hand at her shoulder, she didn’t understand why it was there. Why he was holding her so gently. Why she needed comfort.

Her brain was fully cognizant. Her thoughts were processing smoothly. She was thinking about the necessary actions that needed to be taken to prevent full panic from the entirety of Bright Moon. 

She was wondering if she was queen, now.

Bow was saying something. So was Adora.

They both turned to her, visibly concerned, but when they opened their mouths- although it looked like they were speaking, no words came out. Glimmer could hear nothing but the commotion behind them. The people rejoicing at having their normalcy back.

And why shouldn’t they be?

Adora saved everyone.

Scratch that.

Not everyone.

Glimmer doesn’t even notice the tears running down her cheeks. Doesn’t notice that she’s crumbled to the ground. Doesn’t notice Bow’s arms around her as she sobs desperately into his chest. Doesn’t notice Adora kneeling down beside her, shifting out of her She Ra state, trying to ask her something.

She feels fine.

-

The coronation is like a blur.

Everything happens so fast. She couldn’t help but look indignantly at Castaspella every time they were in the same room. She couldn’t help the anger coursing through her veins.

_ You’re the adult here. Do something about this. _

She can’t help the fury that builds behind her eyes when everyone refuses to acknowledge the simple truth. When everyone tiptoes around her like she doesn’t know. Like she’s some child who needs to be spoken to softly.

She wishes people would make up their minds about who she is.

A helpless child, an orphan?

Or a queen?

And as her time as queen became lengthier, she learned something crucial. She needs to take action, or no one else will.

She needed to save her people from the Horde. She needed to be the queen that pushes the rebellion to victory. The one who stepped out and fought. The one that wasn’t such a  _ coward.  _ Unlike-

She needed to be out there.

And as Bow and Adora grow farther from her, as the burden of her duties weigh down on her she can’t help but wonder.

Wonder what it would be like to have her mother’s arms around her again.

Wonder what it would be like to bury her face into her mom’s shoulder, like she did when she was little. For her mother to sing softly to her, one of her favorite tunes.

To have felt held and protected, loved.

Instead of so alone.

It hadn’t been the same when she’d lost her father. She’d been much younger. She hadn’t been orphaned. Simply a sad little girl without a dad. A sad little girl who could run to her mother when she had nightmares of her father reaching for her but never, ever touching her.

So when Shadow Weaver extends her arms, she sees it as an invitation. For comfort. For something she’s lost.

Shadow Weaver is no one’s mother. 

But now, Glimmer is no one’s daughter.

-

When Light Hope lies to her, Glimmer believes it readily. This war has caused too much hurt. And when Adora warns her, Glimmer ignores it. And when Bow ignores her, she ignores him back.

When Shadow Weaver gives her the thing she’s always wanted, the control she’s desired this entire time, she takes it. She takes it without thinking. She takes it without listening. To Adora. To… Bow.

She doesn’t know what they are anymore. There had been a moment where every time she looked into his eyes, all she saw was love. A moment where his arms around her meant something she wasn’t ready to acknowledge. A moment where every crack in his voice betrayed his affection.

But he was too careful to let that slip anymore. He treated her like she was made of glass. She can’t remember the last time she fell into his arms like they were her home. Can’t remember the last time they’ve looked at each other like there was no one else in the room, or the last time they stayed up until the darkest hour of night talking about nothing and everything.

And Adora… Glimmer couldn’t stop the growing bitterness inside her. Adora should know how she felt. Adora should sympathize with her. Adora should understand, instead of going against everything Glimmer said. Adora should want this war to be over as much as she did. This war took everything from  _ both  _ of them.

Everything was falling around her. Everything was changing.

Horde Prime was most likely going to kill her. Glimmer felt that notion run up her spine, make her hands shake. She doesn’t want to die.

And for Glimmer, it ends like this:

Trapped on a ship with her worst enemy.

Only-

It doesn’t.

-

Catra has never had a mother.

She didn’t even know what they were until she was about eight years old.

She and Adora had been curled up on Adora’s bed, their shoulders touching and heads knocking slightly together. They did this sometimes, the talking. Usually Catra silently curled up on the edge of Adora’s bed, but sometimes, Adora wanted her up here.

To whisper about… Everything.

“Lonnie says she has a mom and a dad,” Adora whispered to Catra, her eyes widening as if she expected Catra to take some big revelation from this.

Catra furrowed her brows. “A what and a what?”

Adora blew the bit of hair from her eyes. It always fell into her face when she didn’t wear her hair up. Catra liked it. Thought it made Adora look prettier than usual. Even though it fueled the ever growing discomfort in her stomach when she was reminded of Adora’s… Looks. Adora almost never wore her hair down, though. So it wasn’t a huge problem.

“A mom and a dad.” Adora nodded along thoughtfully with her words. “I didn’t know what they were either. So I asked Lonnie, and she said they were like, adults who take care of you and love you.”

“Oh,” Catra frowned. “Lonnie doesn’t have those.”

Adora shrugged. “She said she does. They just aren’t in the Fright Zone. She says they’re waiting for her.”

“That’s weird. Who would wait for  _ Lonnie?  _ Who would wait for  _ anyone? _ ” Catra mused quietly.

“I’m waiting for you!” Adora insisted, with a playful shove to Catra’s shoulder that sent her giggling and earned a shush from somewhere else in the barracks. 

“That doesn’t count,” Catra whispered, her voice somewhat breathless from a laugh. “You’re right here.”

“Yeah, and I’m never going anywhere else.” Adora’s smile turned wicked as she cornered Catra slightly. “You can’t get rid of me.”   
  
Catra ignored the rising feeling in her throat and pushed Adora backwards. “Whatever. We don’t need a mom and dad. You’re right.”

Adora got that adorably confused look she sometimes did. “How?”   
  


Catra smiled, leaning into Adora’s shoulder. Exhaustion took over. “We’re waiting for each other.”

-

Catra could tell after she’d opened the portal that’d been the last straw.

She was lost to Adora forever. No longer worthy of whatever silly redemption Adora had in her mind. No longer able to be helped.

Perhaps it was for the best. With Adora out of the way she could fully focus on her mission.

But it also felt that an endless, gaping hole had opened up inside her.

Shadow Weaver was gone.

Catra had never had a mom.

But she’d had Shadow Weaver.

Shadow Weaver, who put her through more pain than anyone. More pain than Adora. Shadow Weaver, who’d used her influence over them to keep her on edge her entire life. Shadow Weaver, who’d beaten, who’d screamed, who’d belittled. Who’d always been there.

Shadow Weaver was no one’s mother. 

Shadow Weaver was very much not Catra’s mother. 

But when she left, the ever growing hole inside Catra only deepened. Shadow Weaver had never held her. Had never loved her. Had never given her any reason to appreciate her presence.

But Catra ached for her. She ached for familiarity. She ached for something. Her childhood was leaving her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Nothing she could do to bring it back, hold it close to her, ask for change, please,  _ change. _

One by one, they left her. 

Shadow Weaver.

Scorpia. Who’d always put up with her shit. Who’d always been her friend. Who knew to never touch her gently. Who was the first person other than Adora to offer her nothing but kindness. Who she’d berated to the point where even she, the kindest creature in this damned place, thought Catra hopeless.

Hordak. Who was the whole reason Catra was in this situation in the first place. Who she’d betrayed. Who was, perhaps, even worse than her.

Adora.

_ Her  _ Adora. Adora, with the dopey smile and hair that always fell over her eyes when she wasn’t careful. Adora, who was supposed to always have been there. Adora, who broke so many promises.

And now… Double Trouble.

Catra felt silly thinking of them as a friend. She had been so lost, so angry, so alone. She’d forgotten.

This was only business to them. And when everything crumbled, they left. They had no obligation to Catra, no emotional attachment. Their focus was on the bag in her hands, hefty with coins. So they were never her friend. She just didn’t have anyone else.

Double Trouble had been her last attempt at comfort, at solace. Something she’d learned to stop seeking. Something she’d craved.

But their words rang in her head. 

_ You push them away, Wildcat. _

They were right. Everything, all of this. She’d caused it. She’d been the tool in her own destruction. No one else. For once, Catra had no one to blame but herself. For once, when Catra’s hands shook with rage, when her claws spliced out to claw angrily, when the tears ran down her face, when the aching in her throat became ever present and angry, she didn’t have a punching bag. She didn’t have anyone to yell at. Anyone to take her anger out on. All she had was herself, and the mistakes she’d made.

Horde Prime presented opportunity. Another attempt at an escape from her own emotions, her grief, her guilt, her pain. She could refocus herself once again. She’d made it to the top on Etheria, what was the difference if it was a different landscape?

What was the difference if she had no one anymore?

For Catra, it ends like this:

Trapped on a ship, alone. 

Only-

It  _ doesn’t. _

-

Glimmer never thought she’d end up here, with  _ Catra,  _ of all people. Catra, who’d always looked at her with an intensity she could only categorize as jealousy. Catra, who’d been a fixture in her life for the past two years, who’d presented a true evil to fight against.

Glimmer never thought she’d be questioning whether or not Catra was evil.

It came with an incredible amount of shame, but Glimmer had a realization, as she sat back to back with Catra, bracing herself ever so slightly so that her back doesn’t touch the wall.

She and Catra were one in the same.

Two pawns that started on different sides. Both destined to end up here. Both destined to end up alone with their anger.

She hears Catra’s humanity when she talks about Adora. Hears the adoration in her voice that, after all this time, she is still unable to hide. It makes her think of Bow. How things used to be. Makes her yearn for that back.

It makes her want it for Catra, too.

So when she asks Catra to do just  _ one good thing  _ it is a desperate plea, yes.

But it’s not just for herself.

She knows taking this action will save Catra, too. Knows that Adora will stop at nothing to bring her back once she is given the barest amount of hope.

So she asks Catra.

-

The floor is hard against Catra’s legs. Her back hurts. But she doesn’t dare lean into the wall that separates them. As it buzzes slightly, Catra sighs, gives in.

“There’s nothing for me on Etheria.”

And there isn’t. Not anymore. 

Catra had spent her entire life with silent hope. She’d spent her entire life thinking she’d make it out, that in the end, somehow, she and Adora would be together. She’d let go of that childish notion when Adora left.

Instead, she’d centered it around herself.

  
Catra. Alone at the end of the world. 

And it would be.

Maybe Catra was looking for comfort, within Glimmer. Maybe some insistent, annoying part of her brain found a common interest. They both were looking for survival. They both wanted to survive themselves.

But Glimmer was still the enemy. Glimmer was forever the enemy.

So why… Why did her brain hurt when she thought about what she’d done?

Why did her eyes sting with guilt every time she saw Glimmer’s face?

Why has she always been so focused on being the opposite of good?

  
  


Catra makes a decision.

A lot of things happen after that.

-

Glimmer isn’t surprised when Adora tells her she wants to go back for Catra.

After all, this had always been her plan.

-

When Catra hears a slight knock at her door, she immediately tenses. She hadn’t been sleeping. Mostly staring at the wall. Mostly thinking. Mostly ashamed.

But she’s trying out the whole, “not responding to everything with immediate anger” thing. So she lets out a small, “Come in.”

She’s expecting Adora. She almost feels excited about it. She’s been feeling that familiar, childish, giddy excitement around Adora again lately. It’s sickening. Upsetting, when she knows after everything she’s done there’s likely no chance her presence brings Adora that same excitement.

Adora doesn’t-

“Catra?” 

The voice is not Adora’s.

When Catra looks up, it’s Glimmer. She keeps her face void of emotion. She doesn’t know how to act around Glimmer. Catra had taken so much from her. And Glimmer had offered her nothing but respect since she’d been on the ship.

“Adora and Bow are busy with Entrapta. Something about the ship. But she wanted me to bring you this.” In Glimmer’s hand is a water bottle. 

  
Catra frowns. “It’s like she doesn’t think I can take care of myself.” She regrets the statement immediately. Adora has been trying so hard to care for her, to meet her every need. She doesn’t deserve it. She looks down with shame.

But Glimmer laughs with a shake of her head.

“You should have seen her when we got back from Prime’s ship. She’s going easy on you.”

Catra gives her a laugh in return. It’s the least she can do. Glimmer walks over and hands her the water bottle. She pauses before leaving, and Catra quirks her ear at her, giving her permission to ask whatever’s on her mind.

“You know you can… come out of here whenever you want, right? You’re…” Glimmer pauses, seeming to consider her next words. “You’re part of our group now.”

Catra nods. “I know.”

“I-” Glimmer takes a breath and takes a few steps closer to Catra. “I know how you feel. I think you should know it’s… Okay. To try talking to her again. Adora cares about you a lot.”

Catra shakes her head in disbelief. “You should hate me.”

Glimmer shrugs. “I still do. Kind of. But I also know what it’s like to be where you are… And it was hard to say sorry and not ask for forgiveness. But Bow cares about me and Adora… well. She definitely feels deeply about you.”

Catra ignored the confusion that statement sent into her body, as much as she wanted to analyze it. “She’s not the only one I owe an apology to.” She looks up at Glimmer purposefully.

Glimmer actually smiles at that. It’s sad. Pained. “That’s… Not for right now.”

Catra’s frown deepens. “Sparkles…  _ Glimmer,  _ I-”

Glimmer places one hand on her shoulder, effectively shutting her up. “Later, okay. Let’s just… Save that for later.”

It was obvious Glimmer had more to say to that, by the almost tortured look in her eyes. Catra felt that familiar guilt seep into her jaw. 

Glimmer sighs and begins to leave. Before she reaches the door, she pauses, looking back, once. “It’s okay if you want to be happy, Catra.”

-

It’s safe to say that this is the happiest Glimmer’s ever been.

As the dust settled, she and Bow did, as well.

She was curled up in her cot (Bright Moon still wasn’t ready to move in), her head on Bow’s shoulder as he absentmindedly stroked through her hair.

After everything, she can’t believe there’d been a moment where she thought this wasn’t possible. Where she thought this never ending love was useless. But here she is. With Bow. Glimmer huffs happily to herself and pushes herself closer.

“I love you,” she whispers, if only to hear his soft “I love you too.”

“You know,” She shifts, looking up to face Bow. He eyes her with curiosity. And love. So much love. “There was a moment I thought you didn’t.”

He furrowed his brow, slightly. His face was still shaped into a smile. “When did that change?”

“After being with Catra, on the ship.” Glimmer’s smile widened at the shocked look on Bow’s face.

“ _ Really? Catra?” _

“Yeah,” Glimmer continued softly, “Just… The way she spoke about Adora. I realized after everything… You still spoke about me that way.”

Bow laughs, holds her closer. “You can tell I love you by my voice?”

Glimmer nods, shoving him slightly to get more comfortable. “It used to be… Like it betrayed you every time your voice cracked. But I realized… It’s in your voice all the time.”

Bow smiles at her. “Yeah?”

Glimmer snuggles closer. “Yeah.”

Bow sighs, and Glimmer takes in his scent. Enjoys being this close to him. He speaks, next. “It was hard... Being mad at you. I didn’t want to be.”

Glimmer looks up at him. “I know.”

“I missed you a lot. So much that it hurt me. But… I couldn’t forgive you right away.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Glimmer leans up and kisses him, soft. And the conversation is over.

-

This is awkward. 

Beyond awkward.

Catra dwindles outside of Adora’s door, tempted, oh so tempted, to knock. But her hand hovers over it.

Her room is too big.

Her bed is too big.

Everything is too big, and she just wants to be with Adora. But they haven’t had a big talk or anything like that.

She just wants to hold Adora close to her and do anything but dream.

Catra takes in a calming breath, and raises her hand to knock.

Before she can, however, Adora opens the door herself, startling Catra and sending her back a few steps. Adora startles as well, her stupid blue eyes widening. Catra rubs her hands over her arms, settling herself.

“Catra?”

“Hey, Adora.” Catra says calmly, her voice a little rough from exhaustion.

Adora laughs. “I was just going to find you.”

“Oh,” Catra says simply but it feels as if all the breath has left her body. Every time she is reminded of this, of Adora’s apparent affection, it feels like someone took the floor out from under her. She has no clue how she managed to kiss Adora after her confession. No clue how she didn’t die on the spot.

“Uh,” Adora mumbles, making room in the doorway for Catra to come in. “You can uh, come in.”

Catra does so, her shoulder brushing against Adora’s as she walks into her room. It sends a shudder up Catra’s spine. She feels Adora’s hand on her shoulder next in silent apology. Firm. Comforting.

  
Catra turns to look at Adora, who looks back at her and smiles.

Adora has done this ever since she was little. She always knew how to touch Catra, and how not to. She always knew to never be too gentle.

Catra turns and takes in Adora’s room. It’s pretty much the same as the one Glimmer had given to her, except in the middle is a bed not unlike the ones they’d had in the Horde. Catra’s lip twitches up slightly in disgust. “Aren’t you like, the mighty She Ra? My bed is better than this.”

  
She hears Adora laugh again. “I asked for that bed, actually.”

  
Catra turns around in disbelief and Adora walks forward, the door closing behind her until they’re facing each other. “I knew you were an idiot, Adora, but this is a little much.”

Adora shrugs, but her smile is blinding. “It’s comforting.”

The mood shifts immediately. Catra looks down. “Nothing about that place was comforting.”

  
Adora sighs and sits on the bed, motioning for Catra to sit next to her. Catra follows the instruction. “When I first got here I… I missed you a lot.”

Catra’s eyes widen at the admission. Adora continues. “The bed was too big, too soft, and I just… It wasn’t the way it had always been, you know? You and me.”

Catra looks away, but nods. She had felt the same. Perhaps nothing about the Horde in itself had been a comfort, but Adora had always been. Adora had always been her only source of comfort, and after she left, Catra found it hard to sleep. Feeling a surge of bravery, Catra faces Adora and grabs her hand between hers, holding onto it tightly and looking into Adora’s eyes. “Can I… sleep here?”

Adora nods immediately, her head bobbing up and down enthusiastically before she seems to catch herself. “Duh.”

Adora presses her forehead to Catra’s and Catra can’t help the low rumble that begins within her. She pushes closer to Adora until they’re sitting there, wrapped up in each other. Catra could almost fall asleep like this. 

It’s uncomfortable, sure. But it’s what she needs.

  
After a couple of minutes, though, Adora opens her eyes slightly. She seems almost hesitant to speak. “I’m glad you came back to me.”

Catra smiles at that, her purr only becoming louder. “You can thank Sparkles for that.”

Adora huffs in slight disbelief. “Really?”

Catra nods into their embrace. “Yeah. She kinda helped me… realize a couple things.”

“Good,” Adora sighs happily, closing her eyes, and Catra can tell she’s on the verge of sleep. “I was waiting for you.”

-

For Glimmer and Catra, it begins like this-

With hope.

**Author's Note:**

> hi i hope u enjoyed.. my tumblr is biluz so pls talk 2 me abt this if u liked it and i PROMISE i will try to get the next chapter of cuentame la verdad done soon


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